Yesterday I uploaded a post about Thursday’s trip to London for the Rock n Roll Bride’s party.
Whilst I had a very nice evening indeed I’m a more than a little annoyed with myself as I failed to network or engage with anyone in any meaningful way as IT is back. That ole buggerance that’s been following me quietly my whole life – the being shy.
People who know me probably wouldn’t know how massively it can affect me – unless they know me extremely well, that is. I find myself totally unable to engage with my peers as I know when I open my mouth absolutely nothing of interest will come bubbling out. And so I keep my mouth closed. I smile and nod. I stuff my nose into my g and t all the while begging the floor to swallow me up.
I’m 36 and I feel like it’s my first day at a new school.
Now, normally it doesn’t really matter. I’ve built my life to allow for it. Even the way I shoot is designed around it. It’s okay.
What isn’t okay is the fact it makes me look stuck up and disinterested which is crazy because I LOVE people and I LOVE meeting new people (that’s the crazy right there – see?).
“Lucinda struggles to engage with large groups”.
And so, instead of photos of me having fun with my shiny new friends I came home with pictures of light bulbs. Seriously cool light bulbs I’ll admit but light bulbs none the less.